How to Make Love Last Past Valentine’s Day and Date Night

Research shows that durable, happy relationships need daily doses of positivity. To strengthen your relationship, find out what feels like affection to your mate, because it may not be the same for you. Your relationship can deepen with small, spontaneous acts of love...

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Is Being a Cop (or Anything Else) a Job or an Identity?

My colleague, Coach Bruce Sokolove of Field Training Associates, sent me a link to an article by Arthur C. Brooks titled, "A Profession Is Not a Personality." His subtitle? “Reducing yourself to any single characteristic, whether it be your title or your job...

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Is Fear Your Friend, Foe, or Both?

Some fears keep us safe. Others cause distress. Can you tell the difference? Famous author Stephen King is the author of 81 books, including an excellent craft book titled On Writing. It’s a book I’ve read several times since I switched from writing...

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Cops & Shrinks: Can You Trust Your Therapist?

What you need to know about confidentiality: when you have it, when you don't. I’ve been blogging about police and first responders with Psychology Today for a couple of years. My most popular post was about cops and PTSD. On the first day of 2021, I saw a comment on...

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Goodbye 2020: Don’t Let the Door Hit You in the Butt

Why do we ask cops to stay on the job for decades when many are done in one? 2020 had such a nice sound, so round it rolled right off the tongue. What a metaphor of hope, twenty-twenty vision, the ability to see perfectly without wearing glasses. So much for happy...

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Stinking Thinking: How Our Thoughts Determine How We Feel

In police work, thinking the worst can make the job safer and your life harder. “My mind's got a mind of its own It takes me out a-walkin' when I'd rather stay at home Takes me out to parties when I'd rather be alone My mind's got a mind of its own." Music and lyrics...

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