I Love a Cop
What Police Families Need to Know
Nothing worth doing is easy—and that includes loving a cop. Being a member of the law enforcement community is a source of pride for officers and families alike. It can also be a source of worry. Will police work change the person you love? Are police marriages destined to fail? What are the chances of your loved one being killed in the line of duty? Separating fact from myth, I address these and other critical questions. After working with police officers and their families for more than 30 years I know practical ways to deal with the challenges that come with the territory. Go behind the scenes with other police families as they discuss the benefits and pitfalls of police work; learn how to manage the effects of organizational stress and the pressures of unpredictable schedules, long hours, worry and loneliness; gain awareness of the emotional, physical, and behavioral warning signs which can lead to such extreme situations as posttraumatic stress, alcoholism, suicide and intimate partner abuse; find out where and when to go for help and counseling; and get an inside look at cop couples and the special challenges facing women, minorities, and gays and lesbians on the force.
With 125,000 copies in print, I Love A Cop is used by hundreds of police academies, spousal academies, and departments around the country. Whether you read it from cover to cover or reach for it when problems arise, it is my hope “I Love a Cop” will be an indispensable tool that everyone in your family can depend on.
“Dr. Kirschman recognizes the modern challenges facing police officers and the families who love them. I Love a Cop is essential reading for anyone looking to understand the person beyond the badge.”
—David M. Corey, PhD, ABPP, police psychologist
“My wife and I have both read I Love a Cop through and through, and our home life is stronger for it. This is an essential book for anyone with a loved one on the job—anyone who needs to understand the inherent strains, quirks, and challenges of police work.”
—Sgt. Adam Plantinga, San Francisco Police Department, 16-year police veteran
“The book brings into perspective the difficulties and risks of the job and the impact on our families and ourselves, as well as ways to keep the family and self whole. This was a ‘must read’ for me as the wife of a police officer, an officer myself, and a mother.”
—Vicky M. Stormo, retired Chief of Police, 35-year police veteran
I Love a Fire Fighter
What The Family Needs to Know
This second edition of I Love a Fire Fighter is, like the first, intended to raise awareness of the psychological consequences of being a fire service family. It is my goal to describe the subtle and obvious ways the demands of this unique occupation spill over to home and to suggest strategies that you—as a parent, a child, a sibling, a spouse, a friend, or a significant other—can use to manage the spillover and/or learn to live with it. I’ve added many new stories, updated research on trauma and addictions, and included two new chapters, one on couple’s relationships and one on the challenges to the family from wild land fire fighting.
—Lisa H., fire fighter spouse
“Dr. Kirschman’s book is a masterful integration of the challenges faced by fire fighter families and the solutions first-responder families can develop to meet these challenges. Her personal and professional experience makes this essential reading for all those in the fire fighter’s support network.”
—Janet L. Bachant, PhD, Founder and President, New York Disaster Counseling Coalition
“We often hear the term ‘fire family,’ but until now, no one has ever stopped to examine in depth what that term really means. Dr. Kirschman offers a unique perspective on the inner workings of the fire service culture and how it affects our personal relationships.”
—Fire Chief Ronny J. Coleman, MA, FIFireE, CFOD
Grounded in clinical research, extensive experience, and deep familiarity with police culture, our book offers practical guidance for psychotherapists and counselors. Using real life stories from our practices, we depict the pressures and challenges of police work and explain the impact that line-of-duty issues can have on officers and their loved ones. Numerous concrete examples and tips show how to build rapport with cops, use a range of effective intervention strategies, and avoid common missteps and misconceptions. Approaches to working with frequently encountered clinical problems—such as substance abuse, depression, trauma, and marital conflict—are discussed in detail.
“What can take years to learn about working with law enforcement officers, this book generously provides between two covers.”
—Stephanie Cress, LCSW, RN, Vice President, First Responder Support Network
“One of the most comprehensive and useful books that I have read on police counseling. The authors write from real-life clinical experience and understand their clientele.”
—John M. Violanti, PhD, 23-year veteran, New York State Police
“This book helps clinicians develop both their clinical and cultural competencies for serving cops. It will rapidly accelerate the learning curve of clinicians working with our law enforcement professionals.”
—Kevin M. Gilmartin, PhD, author of Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement
“This book is invaluable for every clinician who wants to counsel cops. It would be impossible to do a counseling session justice without knowing every aspect of the world in which the cop lives, moves, and works.”
—Rev. Jan Heglund, Chaplain, San Rafael (California) Police Department